(I'm not dead yet, but I thought I would save anyone else the hastle of having to write this for me when for when I do pass away.)

Mike passed away today. He was remembered for maintaining a near constant barrage of sensory input combined with unnecessary motion which was designed to drown out any internal quietness which could have lead to the threat of the possibility of contemplative thought. Mike's hobbies included watching TV, having the TV on but not watching it, listening to radio ads, flipping through magazines glassy eyed, wandering aimlessly, staring vacantly, picking up books and then setting them right back down, and lying about reading being one of his hobbies. Mike was also fond of creating "To-Do" lists with entries like "3. Pick Up Apartment." He gained a fragile sense of satisfaction crossing out entries. The vainer-depth calmness came from a sense that he had added meaning to his day and created order to his chaotic, directionless, and ultimately meaningless existence by "4. Dusting." Although Mike was not terribly skilled in any one capacity, he could definitely be described as a "a Jack of some trades. . .sorta." He is survived by 2 brothers and a sister who agreed that he was "a pretty decent guy." and by his friends who added that he was "likeable enough" even though he was "pretty cheap"and "a bit of a spazz." He passed away before fullfilling his dreams of "You know. . .getting a cool job" and "writing a book or something." He was ____.